Friday, April 15, 2011

Decorating in the Woods… a Fairy Tale in the making?

 

I wish I could say it’s been a wonderful time landscaping in the woods.

But NOooooo… no, I can’t.

Let me just tell you why!

Like all fairy tales… there’s good and then there’s EVIL!

With excitement in my heart…

I go out… innocently… to landscape/decorate a part of our wooded back yard…

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Imagining it would be like Snow White…. singing with the birds,

talking to the squirrels and chipmunks and

rabbits hopping all around my feet.

Chit Chatting with the raccoon and deer.

All thanking me for making their home a little bit nicer.

Maybe something like this:

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and something like that:

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Ahhh (sigh)…. Joy.

Ohhhhhhhhh…. but nooooo…

INSTEAD…

Yes…Instead,

I get this…

EVIL CRITTERS that lurk to destroy me.

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Ticks!

YUCK>>> YUCK>>>YUCK!!

These things have decided to crawl on me each time I go out there!!

I’ve even brought them inside with me!!

YUCK!

Can someone please make Frontline for Humans???

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Pretty Please?

And then there are these…

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Oh… how they love me… swarming me in the hopes to land, stick their horn in me and suck my blood…

Those mosquito vampires!!

And when they can’t get to my skin (because of clothes or repellent)…

they buzz around my ears… taunting me.

YUCK>>>YUCK>>>YUCK!!

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I mean… even grandpa (The Munsters) doesn’t like ‘em!!

Oh…

AND…let’s not forget these little guys…

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Every time I turn over a rock… they seem to crawl out and stare me down…

as if they want to take a flying leap onto me and bite me for disturbing their home!!

I just want to make it prettier.

That’s all!

Now, I feel like I have things crawling on me all day long… UGH!!

BUT WAIT…

Oh… Oh… Oh… no…I’m not done…

NOOOppppe!

Ready for the GRAND FINALE?

I’ve also encountered this….

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OK…OK…

Maybe not this kind of snake but who cares???

A snake is a snake is a snake in my book!!

I even turned to my pals on Facebook telling them how I reacted!

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Wahhhhhhhhhh!

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Why do they want to hurt me so?

I just want to make their home look better… update it a little bit!

So the conclusion?

My hubs found a tick on him at work.

And after all the ones found on me…

He called me and said… (sweetly and with humor) “you are not going out there anymore”…

I said… “OK… I won’t”.

WHY you ask????

because it’s just too dangerous out there people!!

(SIGH)

Well…

I’m now back to this…

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So maybe…

my hubs will come home and be like this??

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Maybe??

A girl can dream can’t she?

Sooooo… what’s the plan…

you ask??

Well…

When fall gets here and cool temps steer the evil critters away…

I’ll get back out there…

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and all the sweet animals will gather around and thank me for their beautiful home!

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The End

Or is it???

After writing this post I went outside to find this…

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Freshly planted Monkey Grass “thrown” onto the path…

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the hole is pretty much covered back up!

WHA????

Let’s just say…

I don’t want to know!

The End

wait…not yet…I know, I know… longest post ev-uh!

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Just wanted to share with my peeps…

Sunday is my Birthday… yep (sigh)… the ol’ 38er is approaching.

BUT…I will embrace it,

I will own my 38… because folks… life is precious and I’m happy to be 38!

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So what are my B-day plans?

I had planned to work out in the woods this weekend…

Now… I don’t know??

Got any ideas for me/us?

The End… really!

 

13 comments:

  1. Kendra-you are just too funny! Love your story with pics. LOL Enjoy your Birthday Girl! You deserve it!

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  2. HA HA HA,, Awesome post! Happy Birthday... just remember it will be beautiful some day....

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  3. Oh, you cute thang!!
    Yep, I would wait until cold weather...then you might get something done. I just hate bugs....
    and snakes ! :) Just make a path and let it all be natural..maybe you can set pots of flowering plants along the path??
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY..

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  4. Too funny! I would have run at the spider, not stuck it out for the snakes. Hate all those things with a passion. Good idea to wait till fall. Hope you have a wonderful birthday!!! I heard that "life is great at thirty-eight".

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  5. I almost made you another laughing video!!! You are so funny and make me laugh so hard!

    Stop digging around up there....just embellish! It'll be softer on the earth and the critter's homes as well as yours and Ray's skin and blood system!!!

    Now, the inside of your house will be all purdy!!!!!

    I had a dream last night that there were dozens of huge spiders crawling all over our walls in our bedroom. Nice, huh?

    xo
    ~Kolein

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  6. Oh my! Happy Birthday! You were just a target waiting to happen out there. Buy some OFF, drape netting around yourself life Kathryn Hepburn in the bush, thigh high boots??? Better stay in for awhile!
    Funny post.
    ~Pam
    pamspaintparlor.typepad.com

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  7. Happy Birthday Kendra!! It was my hubby's birthday also yesterday and our 29th anniversery! Hope you had a great day and didn't get eaten by all the critter!

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  8. I AM laughing out loud! I am so sorry to hear about your foiled plans! Stay closer to the house, potted plants are nice?! By the way, what you started looks nice....Keep your chin up sweet friend!

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  9. You just crack me up at the seams! Happy Birthday to you! I have a feeling you will find a way to make friends with the creepy creatures out there so you can all live in harmony. This could be a whole new fairy tale in the making!

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  10. Oh my goodness this is the best post! I am so sorry about all the evil that was out there. Snakes, yep, I would be DONE!!!! I do not like the creepy crawlys either, I don't blame you for not wanting to go out there!
    I hope you have a happy birthday and I would say that you can rest and relax for your special day!
    Enjoy what ever you decide to do. :) Thank you for the giggles this morning. :)

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Kendra