WARNING:
May Need a Cup Of Coffee.
I am a BIG dreamer so bear with me… this is long!!
I write this to get some recent feelings out and maybe you will get to know me a little better at the same time.
Some great bloggers have recently had discussions about dreams and it got me thinking about my journey and where I’m at now… well actually, I’ve been thinking about it for quite some time.
I not only dream of a creative place to hang my hat, but the creative career that would get me there.
My struggle has always been…
“what do I want to do/be when I grow up?”
BACKGROUND
I have always been an artist… pretty much since I could walk!
Apparently a self portrait in kindergarten… I guess I didn’t know that eyelashes went on your eye lids and not your pupils!
Thanks to mom for keeping these for me… humble beginnings! LOL!
And in elementary school, if there was an art contest… you bet I entered it!
But the actual dream of going to an exclusive art college and being a fine artist began to manifest itself when I was in high school.
I use to sit in my room for hours drawing/sketching famous people, models and fashion figures…
These are some of my drawings from my teen years.
Can you guess who the lady is on the left?
But due to financing, I ended up at a local university in the early nineties (pre-internet) and a first year art student…
only to hear professors tell their students… be prepared that this may just be a hobby in life.
Well…that scared me! Why would I spend all this money and major in a hobby?
So I changed to another university (a big one),
changed my major
and graduated in business (retail concentration).
My only artistic accomplishment in college were these… along with some commissioned portraits:
Commissioned Calendar Covers
POST COLLEGE
JOBS: The desire was to work in retail… but not management…
I wanted a more creative role… display/merchandising.
(some of my work)
Got that job… but it wasn’t enough to pay the bills (not even visual management)… I had to take a second job in a library.
Working in visual display/merchandising was a very creative time for me and I was blessed to have been surrounded with very talented, creative people.
This is one of them.
Kelly…
Kelly was/is a very talented and creative jewel. She was our regional director and my creative mentor (one I will never forget)… I was honored when she chose me (along with the best of the best) to travel and set up new stores.
I still have this email she sent me when I left that job for another company… it meant alot…
(obviously because I still have it)!
In fact, talk about dreams… I found out years later Kelly went on to be a host for a DIY Network Show “Material Girls”.
And then she and the other hosts wrote a book!
I’m not surprised… so creative!
So, I eventually had to leave the field of display for a more financially fit (but not physically fit) job…a desk job (the beginning of weight gain.. lol)! I took a full time job in the library and worked in the children’s department.
Here I am… dressed up as Cool Cat for our summer reading program. LOL!
And then life and marriage happened.
One day, however, I found my second dream job… A photo stylist for a new online store launched by TJX (parent company of TJ Maxx and HomeGoods).
They picked my city for a studio and shipping warehouse location. I applied and I was hired as freelance. And this time the pay was there!
But after a year and half and a new CEO who didn’t want to sell online, our studio and the website was shut down.
DREAM JOB OVER… 2005!
All that said… I feel like I have been lost ever since (career wise… and dream wise… I’m all over the place).
A couple of years later, I thought I would try my hand at selling whimsical folk paintings online. I started in 2007 (right before a bad economy).
It was exciting but it wasn’t very profitable to begin with and then we hit a recession… my sales dropped and I got discouraged. Another failed attempt at following the dream to create.
Now, I am trying my hand at DIY creations mainly as a hobby and for some decor around my house…
But I gotta say… all these recent creations of mine and linky parties that I participate have brought back those wonderful feelings of when I worked with Kelly and all those creative people.
A good feeling I haven’t felt in a long time!
Will my creations or my blog ever lead anywhere?
I don’t know.
What’s my dream?
I have lots of them…
but overall,
I just want to create…
(and get paid to do it)!
:)
Here are just a few of my “dreams” I’m going to share right now (gulp)…
1) Work on a creative team for a magazine/book/website.
2) Renovate and flip a house
3) Sell my creations
4) Create an inspirational blog full of creativity
OK… There you go! It’s out there.
I wrote ‘em down and made ‘em public!
I do, however, remain in prayer knowing The Lord (The Ultimate Creator) has a plan for my life. I trust He will reveal to me where He wants me to be and what He wants me to do at the right time.
So… this is my ongoing journey/story.
Are you trying to pursue your dreams?
Where are you at in your journey?
P.S.
I just want to say thank you…
Thank you to all who visit my blog… it means so much to me! I love all your comments and feel so honored because you take the time to read my silly posts and look at my creations.
Thanks you so much!! :)
Kendra-
ReplyDeleteI think your feelings are similar to a lot of bloggers. I also day dream about somehow making the activities I love into a career - but still haven't figured it out!! It sounds like you have had some great opportunities in the past to use your creative talents. I'm sure that it is all leading you to find the right path for you. I enjoy reading your blog and seeing what interesting creations you will come up with - Good luck in your journey!
Sarah
Hey Kendra,
ReplyDeleteReally enjoyed reading your post. While you're waiting and seeking the Lords will and direction, just remember that your blog is blessing and inspiring lots of women, it's a tool to share about Him and be a witness, and it makes people smile and dream themselves. That's a pretty great little ministry that God is using right now. It might not pay the bills, but it's investing into hearts and ultimately eternity, and that's so much better than anything. So, keep dreaming and seeking, He is never late. I love your creations by the way, and am one who is often inspired after dropping by your blog.
An inspiring story; and by the way, you're way ahead of me. I too long to do some of the same things. Funny how God puts people with similar hearts in our paths. Just keep reaching, don't ever quit. "Delight yourself in the Lord, He will give you the desires of your heart."
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Becky C
Buckets of Burlap
Thank you Becky... yes... I LOVE IT and I'm so thankful for fellow bloggers who feel the same way and for being able to share our dreams and struggles with one another!! I am blessed beyond measure and I don't ever want to take anything for granted...
ReplyDeleteand what so great is that He says... when I am weak ... He is strong!!
And I believe that He literally gives us those creative desires and places them in our heart...
Thank you for the encouragement... means alot!! And you too!! You are on your way sister... you def have an eye for burlappy, shabby, chippy decorating!! :)
Well, it's reassuring to know that being 'all over the place' is not just me! I feel like I've been a lost soul for a few years in regards to work/career too! Keep up your passion for art and keep searching, it's what life is all about right? God is good all the time and all the time, God is good! :)
ReplyDeleteAlison... thanks girl!! You were with me when I had my art blog and now you're with me on my diy creative blog... thank you!! He is good and good to me!! and You're right... let's keep pursuing our passions... even if there are alot of them...LOL!
ReplyDeleteOh dear! I can so relate! I have been trying to get my shop opened for so long it's pathetic. Now I stay at home depressed! Don't get me wrong. I love my kids but staying at home isn't for me when I see debt in the future and going no where in life. That also means going out to eat! So sad but true! Ugh! My pms id also talking right now too! haha!
ReplyDeleteJennifer
Jennifer... don't give up!! I'm not... I think about it sometimes but I end up hanging in there or at least coming back to it! What's so great about blogland is that we can share our struggles and celebrate our accomplishments together... so we do have a support system! I am not wired to be a housewife especially when I need to contribute so I feel ya! It's hard... but we must hang in there and keep trying!! Even if our dreams only end up being a side thing for awhile! Don't get down and know you are def not alone!!! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I am in constant wonder of what to do when I "grow up." I am a stay at home mom right now, but would love to be paid to decorate someone's house. Hopefully your dreams come true for you!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Kendra. I hear you about feeling all over the place. I feel the same sometimes. Not knowing what I should be doing. Especially now that my kids are getting older and leaving home. What is it that defines me now? I have always been one to create. It got lost for awhile with life but I hope to find it again. I'm starting too. Just need a direction for it to go!
ReplyDeleteAnita... wow... an empty nester huh? Yeah... because raising your children probably took up alot of your energy, time and thought process... and now you got the time but not a defined direction. I hope it will come easily to you...
ReplyDeleteI think for me it seems like there are so many possibilities... I have passion for different things and it's hard to nail down just one of them. And as you read in my post...doors have been shut or temporarily closed on some of my creative ventures.
I hope you find your direction (YOU WILL!!) As you may have read here... you are not alone in "the creative struggle"!! Thanks so much for sharing!! :)
Oh my goodness... I know how you feel, but you are more talented and much younger than this old dreamer - the chances of you living your dream are much greater than mine! I'd so love to see you shine because your work is always over-the-top creative and so darn awesome! I wish I had the magic answer for you, but I can't even find it for myself. Since I'm from Iowa, my corny (pun intended) mantra is, "If you build it, they will come". Worked for Uncle LeRoy's Pumpkin Patch up the road from me, they have a booming business every fall! Time is my constraint. I have the place, I have the junk and I have the dream, but it isn't unfolding. I can't help but believe there is a nice in the market for all these wonderful creations. If you don't have the space for displaying your work, could you have an open house? Invite them in and when they see what you've done, perhaps they would hire you to do theirs. Or use your house as your showroom and sell from there. It's the getting it out there that is the greatest hurdle. I'm toying with the idea to one day have enough items to fill a booth at the county fair and see if my stuff would even sell. But that's a couple years down the road for this slow poke. Just never quit dreaming. Never quit creating and something with evolve, I just know it will. What kind of Heavenly Father would fill our beings with such passion without revealing or unfolding the plan?
ReplyDeleteColeen... love ya girl!! I don't know if I could ever stop dreaming or being a dreamer... it's innate... you know?
ReplyDeleteI love that you said "slow poke"... made me laugh... but you always do! I think you should definitely do a booth at the fair... I even wonder if Uncle Leroy's Patch would let you set something up there???
You keep believing, too!!
My mom and I were thinking about an antique booth... she has the antiques and I can maybe sell some creations and boutique the booth??? This economy scares me though... (not to be negative) but there's always that booth rental fee you have to make first. And then there is always ebay and etsy (I have both but hardly use them (they were set up mainly for my paintings) but we'll see. I may have to revisit!
Thanks Coleen for always stopping by and I'm so glad that maybe we will be dreamers and DOERS together in blog world!! :)
Wow Kendra, you are just amazingly, ridiculously talented! To see everything you've done here, I'm convinced that there's pretty much nothing you CAN'T do. :-)
ReplyDeleteHold tight to those dreams, I'm convinced that they will all come true!
Have a fabulous weekend!
Hugs,
Anne
Kendra,
ReplyDeleteit was very interesting reading about your life and your creative paths. I understand your feeling.... I pray the Lord will fulfill the dreams you have and they will totally bring glory and honor to Him.